As I suspected IUI #1 was a BIG FAT FAILURE. I am overall, ok. Yesterday I was pretty sad. I had lunch plans with three other girls to plan A’s baby shower. One of them, who I only met a few months ago, through A, is also having issues. She is actually the only person I know in real life going through this. They didn’t call me until 3 to tell me the results, which I was annoyed. Well I should say they called me at noon to tell me they had them but were waiting for the Dr. to review them before they could tell me. I’m not sure what there was to review. They actually put the results online before they called (which I was stalker refreshing my online account all day), so I actually saw the results quite a while before they actually called. When they did actually call the nurse was very sympathetic and asked me if I wanted to try again. While I understand why they ask you that, I couldn’t help but think, do people just stop after one IUI?
To try and make myself feel better I bought a venti latte and some bath salts from Aveda that I love. My dream was to come home from work and take a nice long soak in the tub with some vino. Unfortunately when I got home my husband had apparently promised my step son we could decorate for Christmas. Not in the mood is an understatement to how i felt about doing this right after I walked in the door. So there I was, hanging our stockings on the fire place with tears just streaming down my face. No bath. No time to decompress and just cry by myself.
The thing is, I really am ok with the result and now I just want to move on to IUI #2. But I did need time to mourn the bad news and I completely feel like I didn’t get that. Today I was hoping to just wake up with a “it’s a new day, let’s do this” attitude, but since I didn’t get the chance to just let out all the negative feelings about the BFN I can’t. I just feel sad today.
Speaking of moving forward, the nurse said it could take up to 14 days for my period to start after stopping progesterone. 14 days?!?!?! Basically everyone around me better hope it doesn’t take that long because I imagine I will be pretty miserable to be around. If its not here by the 12th it will screw up our trip to Oregon after Christmas.
On top of all of this, my husband and I are fighting off sickness. He hasn’t been feeling well all week and just can’t shake it. I spent a good amount of time in the middle of the night with a stomach ache trying not to throw up. We are both in bad moods, and I just don’t see this being a good weekend. It’s uncommonly cold for where we live, and I hate cold weather. That’s why I live in California. I don’t even want to leave the house, or my spot on the couch under my cozy blanket. Pity party for one.