Ok, to be clear I am not pissed that it is cycle day one. I am happy about that actually. I could totally tell it was going to happen today when I was getting ready this morning so I actually prepared. My lady parts are wreaking some serious havoc and I sort of feel like crawling under the table in the fetal position, but such is my life with endometriosis. I will power through (I hope).
So why am I so pissed? Well….I called my clinic to let them know that it was CD1 and I need my meds like any good fertility drug addict would do and when they called me back this is kind of how it went…
Nurse: Hi, I got your message that it is cycle day one for you, but we don’t have a treatment plan for your right now.
Me: UM WHAT!?!?! How is that possible!?!?!
I will pause for a moment to reflect on this first bit of news. First, I talked to a nurse on Tuesday, two days ago, when she called me to let me know that my second IUI was not successful and before I hung up the phone I specifically asked her if my next step was to call back on CD1 for my next go. Her answer was YES. After my first failed IUI, the clinic wouldn’t even call me with the beta results until my doctor had reviewed my results and written up a new treatment plan. Apparently that was the “protocol”, and it appears in the last 30 days said protocol has changed. When the nurse called with my IUI #2 results she was certainly not offering up what I was to do next, I had to pull it out of her. So I ask you, what if I hadn’t asked the nurse on Tuesday what to do, and had not called today on CD1. Would they have just forgotten about me/gave up on me after two IUI’s because no doctor ever gave me a new treatment plan? Clearly all of this is Cycle Day sensitive, and my period has shown up the second morning after stopping progesterone so there really isn’t a lot of time to just dilly-dally around waiting for a doctor at the clinic to realize that I am in fact, not pregnant and suggest what to do next.
Ok…back to the conversation between me and the nurse today….
Nurse: Well, Dr M and Dr A are here, but Doctor SA is YOUR doctor and I am not sure if he is available to give you a new treatment plan but I will see what I can do…(and keeps talking and talking and talking….)
Me: Ok stop for one second please. Why is Dr. SA now my doctor when Dr M has been my doctor for the past six months? I have only met Dr SA twice, because he happened to be the procedure doctor on the day of my IUI. We have never even had a conversation!
Nurse: Well its our protocol that the doctor that treats you does your next treatment plan.
Me: Well I would really feel more comfortable if Dr M would do it because I have actually met with him multiple times and like I said, I have never even had a real conversation with Dr. SA.
Nurse: Ok well I will ask Dr M if he will do it since he is here. We will call you when your treatment plan is done.
I totally understand that RE clinics have to be open 365 days a year due to the time sensitive nature of all of this. And I know that the Doctors do other things besides just see patience in the office, like surgery. I accept the fact that I will not always get to see my doctor every time I go in for an ultrasound or IUI and I am ok with that. I am not ok with having someone who I have never talked to make a treatment plan for me. Maybe I am overreacting, but there is a huge difference between someone performing a procedure on you that they have done a million times (like an ultrasound), and someone who actually is going to give a recommendation on the next step. What if they come back with something different than what I have been doing the last two months? Will the doctor explain to me why he is making a change, and how it will affect me differently? They don’t ever say “well if this doesn’t work then we will move on to this….”
This whole process is upsetting, personal, and really emotional. I feel like the only pseudo security is feeling like the doctors you are entrusting with your body (and money), know what they are doing, and know YOU and your personal issues/situation. I don’t even like to go to my primary care doctor and find out I have to see someone different, and this is just on a whole other level. I went from feeling happy to get this cycle moving to sort of feeling insecure and betrayed in all of 30 minutes. I feel like the clinic should give you a little 10 minute tutorial on what to actually expect so at least I won’t be surprised about the way they do things.
The nurse did call me back and let me know that my Dr, Dr M, gave me a new treatment plan. By new, she actually means exactly the same as the past two. This is update worthy because she also told me that I needed to take a home pregnancy test before she would call it in. So basically, on Tuesday they called me to tell me my beta was less than one, but today, Thursday, I need to take a home pregnancy test to relive the disappointment? Its been 20 days since my IUI, and I am full flow right red crimson tide…..and have had a confirmed negative blood test….but you want me to pee on a freaking stick? You have got to be kidding me. When I questioned her on why this was necessary she seemed surprised (btw it was necessary before my first IUI cycle, which was understandable, but not before my second….because you know, I had just had a negative blood test!). She left me on hold for like 5 minutes and then came back to tell me that the blood test would suffice as my negative pregnancy test. Well I really hope so because if you can’t trust a blood test to tell you that you aren’t pregnant, what can you trust really?
So everything is back on track, and I have my plan for the cycle which is good. I am just not sure why it had to be so difficult to get there…..