Half Way to Beta

Today is 6dp3dt and halfway through the TWW.

The implantation window is 6-10 days post retrieval, which would be from last Friday through tomorrow if any of my embabies made it to blastocysts.

For the most part I have been trying to take it easy. Honestly it’s harder than I thought because I am not great at just laying around, especially when there is things to be done around the house. My husband has been helping out but he just doesn’t do things the way I do (read he does the bare minimum).

Physically the most significant thing I feel is tired. Always. I sleep like a rock at night and don’t have an issue waking up, but I constantly feel tired. I had some significant cramping and bloating that started Friday afternoon and finally went away Sunday morning. I also am having some muscle pain in my legs, mostly the right side, which I think is being caused by the PIO injection. My lower back also aches a bit, but I also think that’s from the PIO. My breasts do feel a little more sensitive than normal as well, but I am trying not to read too much into anything as progesterone really effects my body.

I have a lot going on this week which should help the week go quickly. I am really looking forward to acupuncture on Thursday morning. So far I have no desire to POAS and I am really going to try not to. I know it will get harder toward the end of the week, but I want to try and stay strong. My overall mental space has been good.

On a separate note something interesting happened last week with a friend of mine. Probably a year ago my friend told me she was struggling to get pregnant as well and they were going to talk to the doctor about it. She did a few rounds of TI with Clomid last year, and near the end of the year planned to do one last TI with injectables before trying IUIs. We had a few interactions over email (she lives several time zones away so that is how we usually communicate) about the TI, and she ended up having 5 or 6 follicles. She mentioned that the doctor told them there were risks of going ahead with TI with that many but they did it anyway which was obviously there choice. Right before Christmas she told me that she would find out if the TI was successful and then I never heard another word about it. She and I continued to email pretty much every week ever since and she never said anything, and she didn’t say anything about moving forward with an IUI either. Obviously I assumed she was pregnant and just not ready to tell yet, which I respect.

Here is my issue….over those three months I talked about my IVF cycle several times and she never acknowledged it. Not a word. Her responses completely avoided the subject all together. I was pretty upset about it, especially since I felt like having gone through infertility herself she would be more sensitive than that. I basically decided that I would mention one thing about the IVF meds in my last email to her and then not say another word unless she actually acknowledged it.

Well her response did acknowledge it, but it was like this “Hey I wanted to let you know that our last round of TI worked. I am three months pregnant. I just wanted to make sure I told you. I wish you the best on your IVF. I’m crossing my fingers for you and lm thinking you about you”

While I totally appreciate that she finally actually acknowledged it, it still makes me upset that she wouldn’t do it until she was 3 months along in her own pregnancy. I think it’s great that she was able to get pregnant but I don’t understand why she couldn’t/wouldn’t offer support to me until she was out of the first trimester. So if she hadn’t gotten pregnant would she not have supported me like I support her?

It’s so hard to deal with the constant blows to long standing friendships that comes from infertility. It’s disappointing and exhausting. I can only hope that it has taught me to be sensitive and supportive to other’s struggles.

Part of me feels like six more days to beta feels like nothing and forever at the same time. I am also reminded that getting positive results on Sunday isn’t the finish line. It will be a long road to bringing home a healthy baby and the next few weeks will bring lots of difficult moments and more waiting.

Thank you everyone for the support and love!


5 thoughts on “Half Way to Beta

  1. Oh Friend, I’m sorry she hasn’t been willing to support you these last few months. That just sucks! I’m so excited for Sunday for you! If you share the beta results on your blog, can you please text me? Not sure how much I’ll be checking in with blogs while we’re in Vegas. Sending you big hugs and hoping this week flies by for you!

  2. It is tough to watch people behave in that way and not available to give you the support on time. I am sorry for you!. Hope the embies are already implanted and you will get a BFP soon!👍. Prayers!!

  3. I have my beta next Monday as well! And I so agree… One of my longest friends (27 years of friendship) was the least supportive person to me throughout this whole process, to the point where we don’t even talk. She chose to announce her second pregnancy in a group text on Christmas Day, where I was the only one on the text who didn’t already know. Really hurts, but it’s not worth it to try to keep selfish friends in your life- if you’re constantly putting in more effort than them, then time to take a step back! I’m sorry that happened to you, though! Good luck with the rest of your 2ww!

    • I am so sorry that happened to you. I mean I give my friend credit for telling me before she made some kind of major announcement, but the fact that she wouldn’t acknowledge what I was going through until she was “secure” that her own pregnancy was going to work out is really horrible. I hope you have other friends who are supporting you! Good luck on beta!

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