Can This Be Real?

Today I am 4w6d. I just can’t stop thinking and wondering if this could be real. After all this time can I really be pregnant? With all of the twists and turns that infertility brings to my life I just keep wondering when the other shoe will drop. I am obviously thrilled, but part of me just doesn’t believe it’s really happening.

The part of me that loves to have every detail planned is screaming “Get with it girl! There is so much to do!”. And then there is part of my brain that just hasn’t accepted that this is really going to happen. And there is also a part that feels like if I do anything it will somehow jinx it. I know that’s not how it works. This is purely in God’s hands. But I have finally gotten this thing that is so precious to me, that I have wanted so badly for so long, and I am terrified I will somehow loose it.

OB Care

The clinic recommended I set up OB care immediately for after 8 weeks. From what I understand I will get an ultrasound at the clinic at 6 weeks and 8 weeks, and after that I graduate to the OB. I felt so weird about calling my OBGYN’s office on Monday. I felt like a fraud honestly. After speaking with the nurse I was extremely happy I called, because I was told they would get back to me in 5-7 business days to let me know if my doctor (who I already have been seeing for years for GYN services) would accept me as an OB patient. I wasn’t really given a lot of information on why I may or may not be accepted, but if they weren’t going to accept me this is information I need sooner rather than later obviously so I could figure something else out.

Thankfully I received a message yesterday that I had been accepted. I called this morning to set up my first two appointments. My first will be with the nurse practitioner just before 9 weeks (the same week as my 8 week ultrasound at the clinic), and the second with the doctor just before 11 weeks.

Acupuncture

I plan to continue with acupuncture throughout my pregnancy, and for at least the first trimester I will go weekly. When I went in for my first pregnancy treatment, before my beta, I could tell that my acupuncturist thought I was pregnant. She didn’t say it, but she was totally transparent after she took my pulses. When I went in after my beta for my second treatment she admitted she just knew I was pregnant the week before. I love acupuncture and it helps many people with the symptoms of pregnancy, especially in the first trimester.

How I am Feeling Physically

Today is the first day that I feel a little queasy. I have had some reflux and bloating since a few days before my beta as well. I have been trying to eat every two hours, and if I go too long between snacks/meals I don’t feel well. My face has been breaking out here and there, and I am more tired than usual. I have been trying to walk for 30 minutes every day. I also have to get up and pee at least 4 times a night. I have also been trying my best to practice sleeping on my side. I am a stomach sleeper so this has been a challenge. Because I am bloated sleeping on my stomach is comfortable either so sleep has been hit or miss the past week.

Telling People

Basically we have shared our news with our family and close friends who knew the details of our IVF. It is very overwhelming for me to tell people, especially because it’s hard for me to believe it’s actually happening. I am also really scared that something will go wrong.

What’s Next?

I will have another Beta on Monday to make sure levels are rising appropriately. If things are looking good I will have a 6 week ultra sound on Monday April 11th (I will be 6w2d). I think that hearing a heartbeat will make this feel much more real.

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13 thoughts on “Can This Be Real?

  1. Congrats mama! I could have written this post! I am 22 weeks and it still does not feel real to me (although I have a ginormous belly lol!). Everyone is different but I think this comes with the infertility. I know what you mean about feeling like a ‘fraud’ when calling the obgyn. Also, my acupuncturist could tell I was pregnant before my beta as well. She said my pulse was ‘slippery’. I have continued to go weekly and I think it helps a lot.

    I hope you have a happy and uneventful pregnancy 🙂

    • Thank you!! I just read your post about Twins and I had to laugh about how absolutely unaware people are about what comes out of there mouths! It seems like you are taking it with a grain of salt which is good!

  2. I felt the exact same way!! As your belly gets bigger it will be much easier to believe it’s real. Honestly though, my baby is 4 1/2 months old and I still have tell myself he is really mine, I’m not just babysitting for someone. haha

  3. Congratulations! I am 6 weeks and 4 days today, just praying that when I get to my first scan at 12 weeks we see a little heartbeat on the screen! I will keep you in my thoughts and wishing you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby 🙂

      • Pretty good at the moment. Just tired and a bit nauseated every now and then. Mostly I get really scared every now and then, that take your breath away panic that we will get to the scan and see nothing or lose the baby before we even get a chance to see them. I am so happy for you 🙂 I think it os great people know (our parents and a few close girlfriends of mine do) because it means that our babies are already so loved 🙂

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