How Will I….

A few years ago one of my best friends had a baby girl. I still remember going to visit her for the first time, and holding her newborn. She just laid on my chest sleeping, for well over an hour while we talked. She was probably around 10 days new. All I could think was, how does she ever put this sweet baby down? They are only that tiny for a very short time.

Being less than two weeks away from holding my own newborn daughters I can’t imagine putting them down. Once I finally get to hold them in my arms and kiss the top of their sweet little heads how will I let go even for a second? The time I have with them before they start to discover the world around them is so brief. I know the reality is that you have to let go, and let them grow but right now all I can think about is those first days.

There are a lot of scary things about those days. Trying to feed them. Managing my own recovery while taking care of them. Keeping them safe. Adjusting to a new schedule that includes very little sleep. It is all so intimidating. But none of it compares to the thought of just being able to hold them.

Each day we get closer to their arrival it becomes more of a reality (and less of a dream) to be able to hold them in my arms. After waiting 5 years for the opportunity I really don’t know if I will ever be able to put them down.

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3 thoughts on “How Will I….

  1. I know what you mean I’ve waited and dreamed about this for so long that now that I’m here I’m so happy it’s overwhelming! Here it is 11:30 I’m so exhausted and sleep deprived yet I’m laying here after nursing with a sleeping baby on my chest I should be sleeping too but I can’t seem to put him down! I just love him so much!!! I know you are going to be the same way!!!

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