Hello From the Other Side

So I didn’t mean to go MIA….actually I always hated when I had followed an infertility story for so long and then it went silent when the babies were finally born (I understood but it was just nice to see closure to a long story of such a struggle). So here is my story….or as much of it as I can type before someone wakes up and cries….

Also I do post photos on my Instagram account which at this point is a much better way to follow what is happening with us! Meant_to_be_mommy

Birthday!

On Wednesday, November 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving, Taegan (pronounced TAY-GAN) Quinn and Kruse Morganne made their arrival at exactly 12:22 pm via planned C-Section at 38 weeks 4 days. They were both born in the same minute and things went perfectly. They were both breech so a C-section was my only option, however I had decided around 30 weeks that is what I wanted anyway. It turned out to be a wonderful experience for the most part and was extremely calm and not stressful which is what I wanted. Taegan was 5 lbs 13 oz and 19.5 inches long and Kruse weighed 6 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. Both babies were healthy and did not require any NICU time.

We stayed in the hospital until Saturday afternoon. The morning after the C-section I did suffer one complication when my blood count suddenly dropped and I had a sudden severe headache followed by vomiting and passing out. Thankfully the nurse was there when all of this happened and I received a blood transfusion later in the day. It was all uphill from there. The only other thing I really remember being difficult about the recovery was the extreme itching from the pain medication that is in the spinal they gave me for the C-section. Thankfully that subsided in 24 hours. I have never tolerated pain medication or anesthesia very well, and of course right after they gave me the spinal I threw up. I warned the doctor that this would happen beforehand, and they were able to give me something via IV to make it go away fairly quickly. I only took the pain pills they offered for the first 36 hours. After that I took only the 800mg of Motrin and I was able to handle the pain, which was only really bad when I got up out of bed, but still manageable for me.

Being in the hospital is good because you can have the nurses help you with whatever you need, especially when you are recovering and can’t get out of bed easily (or at all without help). The downside is that they come in constantly. We would finally get both babies sleeping or I would finally fall asleep and a nurse or doctor would come in and have to wake everyone up. This was true 24 hours a day. They wanted to do the most random things with the babies in the middle of the night. It was crazy. Finally the last night we were there the nurse came in at 11 and told us she wasn’t going to come back until 4 am unless we called for her. It was the best news ever.

My mom came a few days before they were born and stayed for 3 weeks. It was the biggest blessing ever. She helped me get so many last minute things done around the house that I wouldn’t have been able to do so pregnant, and she was the best help with the girls when I got home. When I was in the hospital she came during the day so my husband could go rest, and took care of my dog.

The first two weeks are a blur. Our life was lived in 2 hour increments between feedings. I started out exclusively breast feeding. I would nurse for an hour and then have an hour off. It was exhausting. Kruse also was extremely fussy those first days and we thought she might be reacting to something in my milk from what I was eating. I cut out dairy and I already don’t drink caffeine. At the first pediatrician appointment neither of the girls had gained any weight back (T was 5 lbs 3 oz and K was 5 lbs 13 oz when we left the hospital). The pediatrician was very concerned especially about T so we came back for another weight check 2 days later. They had both gained about an ounce on the 2 hour feeding schedule. I continued this for a few more days until one night they were both acting starving and I ended up nursing them for 4 hours (alternating between the two of them). My mom suggested the next morning that I try and pump, which we discovered that my supply was not enough to satisfy both girls, so we started supplementing with formula. The first time I gave a formula bottle I sobbed. I am completely believe FED IS BEST, but after infertility it was just so sad that my body was once again failing me. The good news is that after we started supplementing the girls were so much happier. Kruse didn’t cry all the time anymore and they got back up to birth weight at our 2 week check up! I was trying to pump as much as possible, which is so hard with twins even with my mom there to help, and exactly two weeks after they were born I came down with mastitis. I woke up at 3 am with a 103 fever and horrible chills. At the time I thought maybe I had the flu, but the next morning my left breast was red and barely producing anything. I was able to get antibiotics that day but it was devastating supply and I have been trying to build it back ever since.

My mom had to leave a few days later, and so started the adventure of trying to take care of both girls by myself while my husband was at work. Somedays were really hard and others were actually good. Thankfully with the holidays my husband has been able to be off work, and my dad, brother, and his girlfriend came for the past week which was so helpful! The girls are on a very strict schedule now which has made night time much easier. Kruse unfortunately still has tummy issues, especially as my supply has continued to diminish and she gets more formula. I am still wondering if she has a lactose sensitivity. The good news is both girls are gaining weight and doing great. They will be six weeks old on Wednesday which is so hard to believe.

On days when the weather isn’t totally crappy I make sure we get out of the house. We go on walks, or to lunch or dinner. I think its important to make these things feel normal. For the most part all of our outings have gone well. Having them on a schedule has really helped because we can set ourselves up for success. Also they both love to be in the Lillebaby carrier or the Solly baby wrap. Both of these things have been life savers for me. If one of them is fighting a nap I put them in the wrap and she will be out in 10 seconds. They also tend to fall asleep immediately in the carrier.

All in all we wash a lot of bottles and do a lot of laundry but having these girls is the best thing ever. I don’t even remember life before them. Waiting so long for them was hard, some days even excruciating, but they are worth it. I never thought, starting to try to get pregnant in my 20s, that I would be 34 before I finally had a baby, well two babies, but I just feel amazingly blessed to have them at all. Thinking back to this time last year, when I was just getting ready to start birth control for IVF, I cannot even fathom all that happened since. I still remember going through IVF, and how scary it was, and how I didn’t know if we would even have anything to transfer after such a poor result from the stims, but I know now to never lose hope even when it seems there is nothing to hold on too.

Thank you to everyone who has followed my story over the past few years. I have made some amazing friends along the way, and been able to see so many women who have battled infertility win the fight and bring home beautiful babies via pregnancy, surrogacy, adoption, embryo adoption, ect. If you are still in the throes don’t give up. Your day is coming.

XOXO Sara

Graduation

I have officially graduated from the fertility clinic and on to the OB! I had my last appointment at the clinic yesterday afternoon. We got an ultrasound and both babies are doing excellent measuring 2 days ahead at 8w4d. Both had heartbeats in the 170s. They looked like adorable little gummy bears! We even got a DVD of the ultrasound with audio for the heartbeats! I have been going to the clinic for so many years now (since 2013) that it seems crazy that I have finally graduated. My nurse gave me several big hugs. I will really miss her.

My first appointment with my OBs office is this Friday. I will see the nurse practitioner this appointment and in two weeks I will see the doctor. I’m curious about frequency of appointments with the twins after that. My appointment with the doctor is just before 11 weeks, so I will likely tell my boss in the week following the appointment. My maternity leave start date will likely be somewhat of a wild card so I want to give him as much notice as possible. The good news is that it will be right as we are winding down for the year.

My biggest pregnancy symptom continues to be exhaustion. I could sleep all the time. Friday night I slept 12 hours straight, ran errands for 2 hours, and then needed a 3 hour nap! I do have some morning sickness but I will not complain because it’s been manageable. My appetite is nonexistent. Occasionally I have random and very specific cravings, usually for something really unhealthy, but mostly nothing sounds good. The key to keeping nausea away seems to be eating so it’s been a struggle to find foods that don’t make me want to gag. Cooking is also totally out of the question, especially meat. Thankfully my husband has done a great job of making dinner and when I’m not too exhausted I try to help with the dishes. I have also been having some very crazy dreams!

I hope everyone out there is doing well! Happy NIAW!

What to do When…

You’re having TWO!

Tuesday morning I was so excited to start my day with acupuncture. It was my second morning in a row of nausea and I was really hopeful that acupuncture was going to give some relief. I was so tired/relaxed I slept through the whole thing! It was wonderful! And I felt better afterwards. I had about an hour and a half until our ultrasound appointment at the clinic. I had some work to do in between and time went pretty quickly.

Around 11:15 I met my husband at the clinic and we signed in for our appointment. They seemed to be running on time and we were taken back pretty quickly. A new doctor just joined the practice two weeks ago and I was scheduled with her for my ultrasound. I really liked her right off the bat. She started the ultrasound and brought up the first image on the screen. A perfect little baby! And then she said “and here is the other one!” Another perfect little baby!

Honestly seeing the first one I was so happy I was starting to tear up, but then seeing the second I was completely shocked. Of course I knew there was a chance we would have twins. I mean we transferred three embryos for goodness sakes! But knowing something is possible and having it actually happen before you is totally different. Also in the last two weeks I was pretty convinced it was just one. My beta numbers were strong and increasing at a perfect 48 hour doubling time and I know with multiples you often see much higher numbers and higher doubling time. Also I had been feeling mostly pretty normal. Morning sickness had started at 6w2d, other than a few random waves of nausea prior. I just felt like it was for sure a singleton pregnancy. Well I was very wrong. And I was very shocked.

Baby A measured at 6w3d with 114 heartbeat. Baby B measured slightly smaller at just 6w, but had 113 heartbeat. The doctor said that both were within normal ranges and at this point they want the heartbeat to be over 100. She said at this point she wasn’t worried about Baby B being a little smaller. I have another ultrasound on the 25th.

Two days later I am still in shock. Happy. Excited. A little overwhelmed. And just still very surprised.

It is going to be weird going two weeks without a doctor’s appointment, but I feeling a little better about things now that I have heard their little heartbeats! AHHHHH!!! Is this really happening?!?!

Worth It

Basically the minute after our close friends and family found out I had my transfer I started getting daily text messages asking me how I was feeling. It was really nice to feel loved and that people were there for me and wanted to check in on me.

And then I got a positive beta. More text messages asking me how I was feeling. For the most part I felt really normal, but when I would respond and say “I feel good!” I could almost feel the disappointment from whoever was asking. So I started to respond saying “Good, but I am a little more tired than normal” or “Good but I am having a little reflux”. And then they would get really excited and say things like “well that will only get worse”, or “get used to it I was always so exhausted”. Basically everyone was really excited to share their own pregnancy symptoms with me. It got to the point that I started to freak out a little because I did feel so good for the most part, that maybe something was wrong.

While some people get symptoms earlier a lot of women (especially the fertile who aren’t over evaluating every single little feeling) don’t notice anything until six weeks.

After beta #3 I started getting more specific messages like “so has morning sickness hit yet?” or “are you throwing up yet?” Everyone seems super excited for me to be sick. Maybe so they can tell me how sick they were? I don’t know. I don’t really get it.

So on Tuesday night my dog woke me up at 3 am to pee (a bad habit she has), and I actually did feel sick. I had actually slept from 10 to 3 which is the longest I had gone without getting up to pee in the past few weeks, and my stomach was obviously completely empty. I didn’t actually throw up, but I could have easily. I finally ate some applesauce and was able to go back to sleep after like an hour and a half. When I woke up a few hours later I was still a little queasy but I ate something and it passed.

The next day my mom text me asking if I was feeling sick yet later in the day. I told her I thought I had felt some morning sickness around 3 am and her response was, “well it’s worth it.”

Do you really need to tell me it’s worth it? I wasn’t complaining. I didn’t even bring it up. She asked. I will throw up every single day and night for the next 8 months if it means that I get to bring home a healthy baby. And quite frankly if I do get super sick I have every right to be miserable and even complain, but that absolutely does not mean that I don’t think it’s worth it. I am fully aware that I asked for this…..I paid tens of thousands of dollars trying to have this…….and I literally pray to thank God for it every single day.

So it might just be the pregnancy hormones which have made me a little more moody and sensitive than usual, but I was pretty pissed that she would have the nerve to say that to me. If almost felt like a lecture. At that point I pretty much cut off the conversation.

I am sure that this is just the beginning of months, or years, or unsolicited advice and comments about all things pregnancy and parenting (as if I haven’t already had enough about how to get pregnant over the years), and honestly even that will be worth it if it means I get to bring home a healthy baby.

A Watched Pot (UPDATED)

Last week when the nurse called to let me know about my positive beta she told me that my next beta (#3) would be at an outside lab. At the time I didn’t have an issue with it, even knowing that meant I wouldn’t get results until the next day. Beta #1 and #2 are included in the cycle fees paid upfront, but Beta #3 is not, but it can be billed to insurance. What I don’t totally understand, is why they can bill my insurance for my six and eight week ultrasounds, but make me to an outside lab rather than using their lab. Couldn’t they also bill insurance for this simple blood test? At this point I would actually have preferred to just pay for their lab to do it!

I went to Labcorp yesterday at 7:15 am. Today at noon I’m still waiting for results. I am stalking my patient portal like a total crazy refreshing every few minutes (something I teased my husband about doing when we were waiting for our original results to post).

Honestly this wait has been worse than the TWW for me. Thankfully I had acupuncture this morning, which did help my anxiety significantly, but still my patience is dwindling. I have been praying a lot, mostly for peace, over the past 48 hours. I am trying my best to give this to God. After almost 5 years of infertility I am just terrified of losing the thing I have prayed so hard to get.

My sweet friends have been great to check in on me the last week so see how I’m feeling, which is great…..except I actually feel mostly normal. The changes I feel are subtle. I am a little more tired than normal, but nothing crazy. I have reflux some times, but not always. My boobs are a little tender to touch. I got a terrible headache after running errands Saturday that I think was caused by not staying hydrated enough. I do have to pee very frequently. I am up 2-3 times a night at least. I barely made it through acupuncture today even though I went right before my appointment. Otherwise I feel pretty normal. And when I respond to text messages letting them know I feel good/normal I almost feel like they are disappointed. And then I start to freak out that I should be feeling more.

I am anxiously awaiting confirmation that things are ok. Honestly its really surprising to me how hard this part has been for me. I am not usually a worry-wort about things. I can barely concentrate at work! I finally put my headphones on with some Hillsong to try and relax, and thought that writing out my feelings would be therapeutic. I actually might take a quick walk around my building! Because a watched patient portal never gives you want you want!

UPDATE:

After writing this post I went on a nice walk listening to Pandora and came back to my desk and tried to focus on work, only letting myself check my patient portal every 15 minutes.  At 1:15 there was finally a new result.  I said a quick prayer and then opened it.  My Beta #3, taken at 5 weeks 2 days, was 5148, which is a doubling time of 48.2 hours!  I am breathing a huge sigh of relief.

The clinic actually called like 2 minutes after I saw the result, and my six week ultrasound is scheduled for next Tuesday.

Can This Be Real?

Today I am 4w6d. I just can’t stop thinking and wondering if this could be real. After all this time can I really be pregnant? With all of the twists and turns that infertility brings to my life I just keep wondering when the other shoe will drop. I am obviously thrilled, but part of me just doesn’t believe it’s really happening.

The part of me that loves to have every detail planned is screaming “Get with it girl! There is so much to do!”. And then there is part of my brain that just hasn’t accepted that this is really going to happen. And there is also a part that feels like if I do anything it will somehow jinx it. I know that’s not how it works. This is purely in God’s hands. But I have finally gotten this thing that is so precious to me, that I have wanted so badly for so long, and I am terrified I will somehow loose it.

OB Care

The clinic recommended I set up OB care immediately for after 8 weeks. From what I understand I will get an ultrasound at the clinic at 6 weeks and 8 weeks, and after that I graduate to the OB. I felt so weird about calling my OBGYN’s office on Monday. I felt like a fraud honestly. After speaking with the nurse I was extremely happy I called, because I was told they would get back to me in 5-7 business days to let me know if my doctor (who I already have been seeing for years for GYN services) would accept me as an OB patient. I wasn’t really given a lot of information on why I may or may not be accepted, but if they weren’t going to accept me this is information I need sooner rather than later obviously so I could figure something else out.

Thankfully I received a message yesterday that I had been accepted. I called this morning to set up my first two appointments. My first will be with the nurse practitioner just before 9 weeks (the same week as my 8 week ultrasound at the clinic), and the second with the doctor just before 11 weeks.

Acupuncture

I plan to continue with acupuncture throughout my pregnancy, and for at least the first trimester I will go weekly. When I went in for my first pregnancy treatment, before my beta, I could tell that my acupuncturist thought I was pregnant. She didn’t say it, but she was totally transparent after she took my pulses. When I went in after my beta for my second treatment she admitted she just knew I was pregnant the week before. I love acupuncture and it helps many people with the symptoms of pregnancy, especially in the first trimester.

How I am Feeling Physically

Today is the first day that I feel a little queasy. I have had some reflux and bloating since a few days before my beta as well. I have been trying to eat every two hours, and if I go too long between snacks/meals I don’t feel well. My face has been breaking out here and there, and I am more tired than usual. I have been trying to walk for 30 minutes every day. I also have to get up and pee at least 4 times a night. I have also been trying my best to practice sleeping on my side. I am a stomach sleeper so this has been a challenge. Because I am bloated sleeping on my stomach is comfortable either so sleep has been hit or miss the past week.

Telling People

Basically we have shared our news with our family and close friends who knew the details of our IVF. It is very overwhelming for me to tell people, especially because it’s hard for me to believe it’s actually happening. I am also really scared that something will go wrong.

What’s Next?

I will have another Beta on Monday to make sure levels are rising appropriately. If things are looking good I will have a 6 week ultra sound on Monday April 11th (I will be 6w2d). I think that hearing a heartbeat will make this feel much more real.

Easter Celebration

Today is the best day.  Today I am absolutely indisputably pregnant.  I have no idea what will happen over the next few weeks/months but today I am celebrating the best gift from God.

The details…

My first beta draw was on Friday, however my clinic does not run the blood that day, but rather freezes it, and runs it with beta 2, which was today.

First Beta (10dp3dt) :184

Second Beta (12dp3dt): 326

Doubling time is 58 hours.

Thank you again to everyone for the support and prayers.  Happy Easter!

What PUPO Really Means

Right now, for the first time ever, I am pregnant until proven otherwise. PUPO is a term I have been familiar with for a long time. It’s a special way to refer to the two week wait after your IVF embryo transfer, when you embryos are placed inside your uterus for growth, implantation, and safe-keeping.

But it’s more than just the factual definition. Right now it is my body’s mission to take care of my little embabies. While the embryologist may have told me that each embryos potential is set at fertilization having them inside of me is a serious responsibility. I feel connected to them. I want to give them a good safe home for the next nine months. No matter what happens, even if it’s for only a short time, they lived inside of me.

When I look at the photo of my little wonders I feel proud. It seems strange to be so in love with a few microscopic cells. They represent hope. A lot of love and science went into creating them. Having them inside of me, hopefully dividing, growing, developing, and making themselves at home, is a privilege. I am celebrating that they made it this far. That is a gift.

Right now every little decision I make is about them. What I do, eat, put in or on my body…..it’s all for them. There is no way for me to check on them. All I can do is pray for them and give them my best. I can only hope it’s enough. They deserve everything.

If they don’t make it there is no way I won’t feel responsible. While logic and science might be able to give me a list of other explanations, my only concern is helping them develop and keeping them safe. I will feel like I failed them if that isn’t possible. I think they call that being a protective mother.

Being PUPO is special. It might be an agonizing two-ish weeks of wondering and hoping they are okay, but it might also be the only time I get with them. There is nothing I can do to make the time go faster, so right now I am focusing on the time I have with them. I hope they are fighting for me like I am fighting for them. If they don’t make it I will never forget them.  For the next few days I will be happy to take care of them.  And I will pray everyday they stick around.

Three is a Special Number—Part Two

Three is a Special Number—Part Two

The night before our transfer appointment I lay in bed, mind racing to what I imagined were all the possible outcomes of the next morning. Obviously worst case scenario was that I would show up to be told none of my embryos made it. Best case would be that they were all going strong and I might even have one to freeze. Eventually I feel asleep and actually slept through the night.

Walking into the clinic on Tuesday morning I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that I did everything I could, and it was out of my hands.

Dr. C, the acupuncturist, met us in the waiting area and headed back to the transfer room to set up for my pre-transfer acupuncture session.

We were called back to meet with Dr. S for our pre-transfer consult meeting. This was the moment. We sat across from him at his desk while he read us the embryology report from our chart. First he went over what we already knew. 5 eggs retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized normally.

And then he held up a photo of our three day three embabies. All of which were still growing and dividing. I was honestly really surprised, and so very grateful that they all made it. All of them. Two of them were 6 cell grade B, and one was 5 cell grade A.

So here is the crazy part. Both the embryologist and the doctor recommended we transfer all of them. Three. This was absolutely not on my radar as a possibility.

The doctor went on to explain that if they were to transfer two, it would be the six cell embryos because they were a little further along than the 5 cell, however the 5 cell was actually a better embryo. Because the 5 cell was lagging behind a bit (they like to see three day transfers at 6-8 cells), statistically it would have a better chance of continuing to grow in my uterus rather than in the dish. Because 8 cell embryos have the best odds of implanting on day three, they advised that we transfer all of them given that the other two were only at six cells.

Of course he addressed the risk of multiples, which he advised that our chances of getting pregnant at all were around 50%, our chances of having twins was 30-40%, and our chances of having triplets was 1%. So we went for it.

We signed the consent forms and the Doctor called the lab. I was taken back to the transfer room where Dr. C was ready for my acupuncture. I also took a valium on the way. I highly recommend acupuncture on the day of transfer. It (along with the valium) kept me very calm and happy.

The transfer itself went very quickly. The only uncomfortable part about it was that my bladder was full. It was fun to watch on the ultrasound screen as my little embabies made their entrance.

Afterwards they make you sit for 10 minutes before you can empty your bladder. Thankfully the embryologist came in to talk to us during that time which made it go very quickly. He basically confirmed everything Dr. S had told us earlier. I also asked him about any observations about egg quality. He reviewed my chart and confirmed that they did not see anything abnormal with my egg quality which was so great to hear. He also said that once inside the uterus 5 and 6 cell embryos can make it to 8 cells in an hour or so once they are settled.

He also mentioned that the potential of each embryo is decided at fertilization. He went over all of the things that could happen from here, from becoming a healthy baby, to chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, and failure to implant. It was just a reminder that it is still a long road after a positive beta. He also strongly advised against taking a HPT before beta, which I am going to try very hard not to do.

After I was able to pee Dr. C came in for my post transfer acupuncture appointment. Dr. C is not my normal acupuncturist but he owns the clinic I go to and I had met him a few times. I was immediately comfortable with him and we had a good chat while he placed the needles.

My clinic requires bedrest for the day of transfer, which I had no problem adhering too. I actually had a wonderful valium induced nap when I got home.

Today I am back at work but really taking it easy. I have also started making myself what I call an implantation smoothie every day with pineapple core, Brazil nuts, banana, coconut butter, and clementine. I have also been having at least half an avocado every day and drinking electrolyte water.

My beta is on Easter, which is the perfect day to find out if any of my beautiful little embabies have implanted.

Again thank you all for the love and support. I am so grateful for all of the comments.

The night before our transfer appointment I lay in bed, mind racing to what I imagined were all the possible outcomes of the next morning. Obviously worst case scenario was that I would show up to be told none of my embryos made it. Best case would be that they were all going strong and I might even have one to freeze. Eventually I feel asleep and actually slept through the night.

Walking into the clinic on Tuesday morning I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that I did everything I could, and it was out of my hands.

Dr. C, the acupuncturist, met us in the waiting area and headed back to the transfer room to set up for my pre-transfer acupuncture session.

We were called back to meet with Dr. S for our pre-transfer consult meeting. This was the moment. We sat across from him at his desk while he read us the embryology report from our chart. First he went over what we already knew. 5 eggs retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized normally.

And then he held up a photo of our three day three embabies. All of which were still growing and dividing. I was honestly really surprised, and so very grateful that they all made it. All of them. Two of them were 6 cell grade B, and one was 5 cell grade A.

So here is the crazy part. Both the embryologist and the doctor recommended we transfer all of them. Three. This was absolutely not on my radar as a possibility.

The doctor went on to explain that if they were to transfer two, it would be the six cell embryos because they were a little further along than the 5 cell, however the 5 cell was actually a better embryo. Because the 5 cell was lagging behind a bit (they like to see three day transfers at 6-8 cells), statistically it would have a better chance of continuing to grow in my uterus rather than in the dish. Because 8 cell embryos have the best odds of implanting on day three, they advised that we transfer all of them given that the other two were only at six cells.

Of course he addressed the risk of multiples, which he advised that our chances of getting pregnant at all were around 50%, our chances of having twins was 30-40%, and our chances of having triplets was 1%. So we went for it.

We signed the consent forms and the Doctor called the lab. I was taken back to the transfer room where Dr. C was ready for my acupuncture. I also took a valium on the way. I highly recommend acupuncture on the day of transfer. It (along with the valium) kept me very calm and happy.

The transfer itself went very quickly. The only uncomfortable part about it was that my bladder was full. It was fun to watch on the ultrasound screen as my little embabies made their entrance.

Afterwards they make you sit for 10 minutes before you can empty your bladder. Thankfully the embryologist came in to talk to us during that time which made it go very quickly. He basically confirmed everything Dr. S had told us earlier. I also asked him about any observations about egg quality. He reviewed my chart and confirmed that they did not see anything abnormal with my egg quality which was so great to hear. He also said that once inside the uterus 5 and 6 cell embryos can make it to 8 cells in an hour or so once they are settled.

He also mentioned that the potential of each embryo is decided at fertilization. He went over all of the things that could happen from here, from becoming a healthy baby, to chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, and failure to implant. It was just a reminder that it is still a long road after a positive beta. He also strongly advised against taking a HPT before beta, which I am going to try very hard not to do.

After I was able to pee Dr. C came in for my post transfer acupuncture appointment. Dr. C is not my normal acupuncturist but he owns the clinic I go to and I had met him a few times. I was immediately comfortable with him and we had a good chat while he placed the needles.

My clinic requires bedrest for the day of transfer, which I had no problem adhering too. I actually had a wonderful valium induced nap when I got home.

Today I am back at work but really taking it easy. I have also started making myself what I call an implantation smoothie every day with pineapple core, Brazil nuts, banana, coconut butter, and clementine. I have also been having at least half an avocado every day and drinking electrolyte water.

My beta is on Easter, which is the perfect day to find out if any of my beautiful little embabies have implanted.  I am hoping for a very calm TWW (by that I am hoping I don’t drive myself crazy).

Again thank you all for the love and support. I am so grateful for all of the comments.

Three is a Special Number

Friday was a hard day.  I was scared. I am still scared. After work my husband and I went out to an early dinner. He and I are very different in how we process things, but we had a good conversation and I was able to relax a little afterwards. When we got home we just relaxed and watched Netflix before going to bed. I have been dealing with some insomnia in the middle of the night and I actually was able to sleep all the way to 5 am, which was amazing.

We left the house at 6 am and arrived a little early to the clinic. As soon as we were called in at 6:30 things went pretty fast. I had never met the nurse on OR duty that day, but she was very sweet and made me feel comfortable. I was feeling relaxed and my husband and I were joking around.

After changing into a gown and getting hooked up to an IV the nurse took me to empty my bladder one last time, and I walked into the OR. I remember a mask being placed on my face and then I woke up in recovery. The retrieval went pretty quickly, which isn’t surprising with only 5 follicles. When I woke up they let us know they were able to get 5 eggs. We stayed in recovery for a while, I had some apple juice and I was able to pee (a requirement for discharge) pretty quickly. They had me stay a while longer to get more IV fluids. They wheeled me out to the car and I spent a lot of the rest of the day sleeping. After how much sleep I had lost over the previous days it felt good to catch up.

When I woke up I felt really sore. I tried to drink as much as possible to stay hydrated so I was having to get up to pee a lot, which was good but also difficult with how sore I was. It was all for the best because I did feel much better on Sunday, but was still a little sore. I started the PIO shot on Sunday as well, in my back side. The shot itself didn’t hurt but over the day my whole right side from my butt down to my foot ached! Thankfully today it did not have the same effect on the left side, and the right is feeling much better.

Sunday morning the clinic called first thing. Of course my phone didn’t ring and they left a message. I couldn’t call back for about 20 minutes when the clinic’s main phone system turned on, and of course (likely thanks to daylight savings time) the phone system did not come on when it was supposed to. So obviously I was stalker calling every minute for like 20 minutes until it finally worked.

The embryologist let us know that out of the 5 eggs, 4 were mature, and three fertilized normally.

She scheduled our transfer for tomorrow (Tuesday). Our clinic does 3 day transfers if you have less than 5 embryos.

Three has always been my favorite number and I am hoping that it’s a good sign that we had three eggs fertilized for a three day transfer and if it works out I will be due on December 3rd. I am also 33, just to throw that in there. I have been praying every day that God is watching over my little embabies helping them grow. While all of the things I have done to help my eggs over the past year haven’t helped my quantity I pray that they had effect on quality.

I want to thank everyone who commented on my last post with some much support. I love this community and I am so appreciative of the kind words.