IUI #2 Results

Yesterday afternoon was my beta and the clinic called today. Verdict: Negative.

The clinic actually called me around noon time (rather than the end of the day). I was sitting at my desk with L having lunch literally in the middle of telling a story. When I got off the phone, I pretty much said, “well its negative” and just kept telling my story. I don’t know that I was really ready to feel it yet. That is what I expected to hear, so I wasn’t surprised, but I did still have hope that just maybe it would be positive. As the day has gone on I have started to feel the weight of the news more and more. I want to stuff my face with bad thinks like Tapatio Doritos and ice cream (not together), but so far I settled for a See’s candy and some raw veggies.

I am hopeful my period arrives by the end of the week. I have had all sorts of fun PMS symptoms the past few days, so hopefully AF shows up ASAP. I already got my calendar out to plan my next cycle. Its the last IUI attempt I can do for a few months. I am starting my new job mid Feb (assuming all goes as planned), and I will have no idea what my schedule will be, or how easily I can slip out for Dr’s appointments randomly 3 days in a row. I am hopeful I will be able to work it out to try again a few months after starting the job. It keep focusing on the fact that if my next (3rd) IUI doesn’t work out, and we take a break for a few months, I have no shot of having a due date in 2014. I will just be happy to be pregnant at some point, regardless of the month or year my baby is actually born, but this year just started, so it’s a little disappointing to think about going all of 2014 with no baby in my arms.

I am in the bay area for the next few days for work, but thankfully L is here so tonight we can have sushi and I can possibly drown my sorrows in a glass of wine. I am going to try my best to not drown them in retail therapy, but that could be tough with all the amazing shopping literally steps away from my hotel.

My husband is going to visit some friends in SoCal for the weekend, so I think I might get a facial on Sunday. I feel like I need to do something good for myself and I have been wanting one for a while.

In other news, I have decided my first project of 2014 will be to reorganize all the closets in my house. I actually got a good start in the front/coat closet. I think I did a pretty awesome job of organizing all of our Christmas stuff, as I put it away, so everything is stacked neatly and labeled. I think I am going to tackle our closet next, which will be by far the biggest job. Project #2 will be to organize all drawers and cabinets. The act of organizing is something I do to cope. I can literally do it in silence for hours, but it helps me clear my head. At least it’s productive (and not destructive)!

OK AF…..show up already!




Infertile Holiday Cheer

I had intended on posting a pic of my adorable reindeer socks in the stirrups, but the picture was beyond terrible.  My legs are as pasty white and dry as can be thanks to the dry winter weather, and the angle was terrible, so I am going to pass on posting the pic, but I will tell you in my last three days in the stirrups for my ultrasound and 2 IUIs I was very festive.  Day one: snowflakes.  Day two: snowmen.  Day three (today): reindeer.  Last month I didn’t wear socks at all, mostly because I had been wearing ballet flats when I went in for my appointments.  This time, even on the day that I wasn’t wearing socks with my shoes, I stuffed a fun pair in my purse.  Truthfully I have had very little holiday cheer this year, so these last few days before Christmas I really am trying to step it up. 

Thursday when I went in for my ultrasound as I was going back the nurse sort of asked me/sort of told me I would be seeing Dr. M.  I was surprised because Dr. M was the only doctor at the clinic I had seen at all, ever.  He is my doctor.  The nurse explained to me since I was a “call in that morning to schedule bc of my positive LH” that I was scheduled to see the procedure doctor (for that day), Dr. A, but she was too busy so Dr. M agreed to do it.  I guess I sort of knew there was a chance I could see a different doctor, but I sort of had it in my head that it would only happen on a weekend if I had to go in, because not every Dr. works on the weekends.  Well for the last two days I for my actual IUI’s I had Dr. SA.  Not a fan.  My first IUI’s (done by Dr. M) weren’t exactly comfortable but not unpleasant either.  Dr. SA was much more rough, enough that I actually made a face both times.  His bedside manner was also not my favorite.  :-/

Between appointments (my husband’s drop off and my IUI), we went to Toy’s R US to Christmas shop for my step-son.  He is six, and there is honestly nothing in particular that he wants (other than a rainbow loom which his mother is getting for him).  We ended up picking out some crayola stuff, a video game for Wii, a board game,  and some stocking stuffers.  I have a few other things that I have picked out for him over the past month like new jammies and other little stuff.  We actually don’t get to celebrate with him until the 26th, because he went to SoCal with his mom.  We usually have him every weekend, but he left yesterday for SoCal, so we sort of don’t know what to do with ourselves all weekend.  We are going to to a nice dinner tonight at one of our favorite local restaurants, The Chef’s Table.  They have amazing fried chicken with bacon gravy.  I am very pumped. 

For now I am going to veg out on the couch and maybe do some wrapping later on.  Happy weekend.