34 Weeks

I can hardly believe how fast the last two weeks went by. I am so happy to be done with work and officially on maternity leave. It has taken a lot of stress and pressure off. While I will say my boss has been very supportive of me my entire pregnancy on my last day of work he asked me if I was looking forward to my “vacation”. Sigh.

My NSTs have been going well. It is very reassuring to see everything is going well with the babies. Starting next week I believe I will be seeing my OB every week as well.

I am slowly getting some things done around the house. I have the most energy at night when everyone is sleeping and I have to be quiet!

The biggest news is that my C-Section is scheduled for Nov 23rd! It’s so nice to have an actual date scheduled, if they don’t decide to come earlier. My hospital bag is about 75% packed. Really I just need to go through and organize everything.

 

How Far along: 34 Weeks tomorrow

Total Weight Gain: 28 lbs

Maternity Clothes: Yes. I found some maternity leggings I apparently bought earlier this summer from Old Navy in a drawer. My regular leggings still fit but were getting a little more snug. Honestly I hate the maternity leggings. I have basically no butt and they just fall down!   I have been sleeping in my husband’s athletic shorts and t-shirts which works great, but having to but real clothes on to leave the house during the day has been a real bummer. Otherwise I have bought a few things for the hospital this week, including two PJ sets with button down tops and some extra PJ pants at Old Navy (in men’s because I have long legs!).

Movement: Yes. All the time. These babies are very active and constantly switching positions. They move so much during the NSTs a nurse usually has to hold on the monitor to at least one of them. NST tests have taken anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours just because they won’t stay on the monitor.

Stretch marks: No

Sleep: Right now it’s about 1 am and I’m wide awake. I seem to sleep the best from about 5 am to 8 am. Even with no nap all day I can’t sleep at night.

Best moments:  Finally being on maternity leave. It was a huge relief to not have to worry about the stress of work. My office had a really nice send off for me which was awesome. This week it’s been great not to have to worry about having anywhere to be first thing in the morning.

Last Friday I also had a nice dinner with a bunch of pregnant moms from my local twin mom group. I almost didn’t go because we weren’t meeting until 7pm and it was a super rainy day. I am so happy I got myself out. I had a great time catching up with everyone. There were 4 of us and we are all due within 1 week of each other.

Miss Anything: Just a good night of sleep. And maybe not having to pee every time I stand up.

Food Cravings: Still ICE!

Anything make you feel queasy or sick: Only if I try to do too much or don’t eat enough.

Showing: Yes!

Gender: GIRLS!

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: I haven’t had any contractions since going on Maternity leave which is great. Unfortunately I have some kind of issue with my right hip/leg. I think it’s a pinched nerve or something. It has gotten slightly better the past few days but sometimes I stand up and I can’t walk or move my leg. I had my acupuncturist treat it and I’ve been trying to rest which seems to be helping. I am not great at just sitting around when there are things to be done though!

I have also started itching really badly on my arms and legs. I know this can be a symptom of a bigger issue so I plan to talk to my doctor about it on Monday.

Belly Button: WAY OUT

Wedding Rings: Off

Mood: I found myself quickly losing my patience my last week of work. I have been a little more emotional but overall I am happy!

Looking Forward to: I am just looking forward to the next few weeks of nesting and getting ready for my babies to get here.

 

Advertisements

Thirty Two Weeks!

I am so blown away at how well I am feeling at 32 weeks.  Working a modified schedule the past two weeks was a total game changer for me.  Being able to rest more during the week has helped me tremendously.  This is my last week of work which I am grateful for and totally ready to be done, but I am so appreciative that I was able to work it out with my employer to work from home more the past two weeks.  It made a huge difference!

I am currently going in for non-stress tests at the hospital twice a week.  So far they are going great, and its really nice to just lay there and listen to the heart beats for 30 mins or so.  It is such great reassurance.  I am seeing my OB every two weeks, and she told me today I will start seeing her every week after my next appointment which will be at 34 weeks.

The plan right now is to have a C-section at 38 weeks.  Scheduling this is supposed to be in the works so hopefully we will have our date soon.  It just blows me away that they will be here in six weeks or less.

At home we are mostly ready.  The nursery just needs a few finishing touches.  Most of our baby gear is put together.  I am going to get my car cleaned (inside and out) next week and then we will install the bases for the car seats.  My hospital bags are also mostly packed.  I took a breastfeeding class at the hospital last week which was a good starting point for information.  This is probably the thing I’m the most nervous about.  I was told by a nurse during my NST that the minimum time I will be in the hospital with twins/C-section is 4 nights, so hopefully the lactation consultants will be able to get us started on the right foot!

 

How Far along: 32 Weeks + 3 Days

Total Weight Gain: 25 lbs

Maternity Clothes: Yes but I can still wear my regular athletic shorts, leggings, and maxi skirts. Some maternity shirts are too short now though!  I was adamant that I wasn’t going to buy any more maternity clothes but I did break down and get two long sleeved tops at target and some bigger underwear last week.

Movement: Yes. All the time. These babies are very active and constantly switching positions. I can tell baby B is going to be my feisty one though!

Stretch marks: No

Sleep: Pretty terrible at night. I sleep best between 2 and 6 am or from 3pm-5pm (when I am able to get a nap in).

Best moments:  My baby shower at 3o weeks was really nice. My friends did such a nice job and it was so blown away about how many people were able to make it. Almost every got us really useful gifts (instead of clothes/blankets!) so we are almost completely ready for the girls to arrive.

I was also able to meet up with two friends who weren’t able to make it to the shower. One is also pregnant with twins via IVF and it has been the most special thing that we can share our twin pregnancy after years of dealing with infertility together. My other friend went through IVF for both of her daughters and recently found out she is pregnant by complete surprise!

Also this morning we had a scan at perinatal so we were able to see the babies. They are both doing amazing as baby A is 4 lbs 9oz and baby B is 5 lb 2 oz. Both are looking perfect! It’s hard to believe I already have almost 10 lbs of baby in there!

There has just been so much great stuff going on the past two weeks!

Miss Anything: Just a good night of sleep. And maybe not having to pee every time I stand up.

Food Cravings: ICE ICE ICE ICE. I am obsessed with ice. Also cinnamon sticks from a local pizza place and onion rings.

Anything make you feel queasy or sick: Only if I try to do too much or don’t eat enough.

Showing: Yes!

Gender: GIRLS!

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: My Braxton Hicks have slowed WAY down since I started working a modified schedule. I still get heartburn from almost everything and my sleeping is crappy. My hips are really stiff in the morning or when I get up to pee at night which is kind of scary because sometimes I feel like I am going to fall over right when I stand up. I still have a hard time with sitting straight up for long periods of time or standing up for long periods of time. A maternity support belt is extremely helpful for everyday things like cooking/cleaning up or trips to Target ect when I am on my feet.

Belly Button: WAY OUT

Wedding Rings: Off

Mood: Really happy. Someone asked me to today if I am just ready to get them out and I was like “no way!” I don’t mind being uncomfortable or tired (yet) and I completely see how people miss being pregnant. I mean the first tri was really rough but all of the less than pleasant symptoms are completely manageable and I just love feeling them move around.

Looking forward to: Maternity leave starting! This is my last week of work and I am ready to be done and focusing totally on last minute things to get us totally ready. I am also looking forward to be able to rest/nap more during the day to make up for the lack of sleep at night.

 

30 Weeks

It is blowing my mind that these little nuggets will be here in 8 weeks or less. The weeks are just flying by faster than I can even count them.

The third trimester is kicking my butt so far. Obviously it is totally worth whatever I have to endure but this girl is exhausted and so uncomfortable. Working has gotten a lot more difficult, especially in the afternoon when the Braxton Hicks kick in. My doctor said she usually has her twin patients stop working at 30 weeks.   I am trying to stretch it to 32 but we will see. I definitely don’t want to go into early labor from overdoing it. The people covering my job while I am out are starting to take over on some of my projects which is really helpful just to keep the stress level down.

I see the OB every other week right now and my next appointment is the 28th. We have started to discuss birth plans. Because the babies are so active it is very hard to tell if I would even be able to try to delivery vaginally. They both need to be head down and the bigger baby needs to be in the primary position to be delivered first. Right now they are all over the place. Even if that does end up being an option for me I am leaning toward a C-section. I have a lot of feelings both ways, but ultimately I am scared of having a double recovery if the second baby flips after the first is born and has to be taken via emergency C-Section. I would like to avoid having a double recovery. My second concern is that my system is very sensitive to pain meds and doesn’t tend to react well. I am weighing my options (if I even have them at all) but it’s a difficult decision.

On a lighter note my nursery is making some progress. I really wanted it to be done by this weekend, which is never happening. I really don’t like having to rely on other people to help with things (due to me not being able to lift things or bend over easily). While I love my husband to death he is not handy at all so we have had to recruit friends to help with stuff. I am down to just needing to have some things hung on the walls but we haven’t had schedules line up to actually get someone to help us. On my good days I have also had major nesting urges and have completely organized our bathroom and pantry. These are the times I wish my mom lived close because she would be able to help me with stuff. I am super grateful she’s coming for a few weeks when the babies are born but I could really use her now too! I really want things to be organized before the babies get here and its stressing me out!

 

 

How Far along: 30 Weeks (on Saturday)

Total Weight Gain: About 20 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: YES! Thankfully my regular leggings, athletic shorts, and maxi skirts still fit, but some of my maternity shirts are too short already! I pretty much wear the same 5 things to work….mostly comfortable dresses. I did find that I need to buy some new underwear because I only have about 6 pair that still fit!

Movement: Yes. All the time. These babies are very active and constantly switching positions.

Stretch marks: No

Sleep: Absolutely horrible. I sleep in my recliner most of the time now because I am able to sleep for longer stretches of time without waking up and I have less heartburn issues if I do. Still I am surviving on 4-6 hours of interrupted sleep per night. Sleeping for a 2 hour stretch is a major win.

Best moments:  I was able to see the babies twice in the past two weeks. We had a growth scan last Monday which was the best birthday present possible. Both babies are thriving, and Baby B is in the 91st percentile for size at 3 lbs 5 oz. Baby A was 2 lbs 15 oz and in the 61st percentile for size. At the time of the scan baby B was head down and baby A was breech. My OB did a quick ultrasound two days later and they had totally flipped. Baby A was now head down and B was breech. I can pretty much guarantee they are in totally different positions now with all the moving they do!

Miss Anything: Just a good night of sleep. And maybe not having to pee every time I stand up.

Food Cravings: My days or eating anything spicy are OVER for now as my heart burn is so horrible, which really sucks. I am still enjoying iced tea every few days, and I have discovered I can make shaved ice in my Nutribullet. I literally just eat the ice (no flavoring) and I love it! Its so refreshing!   I don’t know there is anything else I am craving regularly.  I am only able to eat small amounts at a time.

Anything make you feel queasy or sick: Still some motion sickness here and there and I randomly will get really nauseous if I overdo it. And by that I mean I have gotten sick from just getting ready in the morning for work, and bringing groceries in from the car.

Showing: Yes!

Gender: GIRLS!

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: Braxton Hicks EVERYDAY. Usually around 2 or 3pm they come on. Exhausted all the time. Heartburn. Just VERY uncomfortable all the time. Lower back pain. Out of breath super easily.

Belly Button: WAY OUT

Wedding Rings: Off

Mood: Happy. Tired. Major desire to NEST.

Looking forward to: My baby shower this weekend! Getting the nursery done (which seems like a never ending project).

24 Weeks!

I had really wanted to do an update at 22 weeks, but I was honestly way too busy that week, and that was the weekend of my first baby shower! Time has been going by super-fast and I can hardly believe I am closing in on the third trimester in just a few weeks!

Since my last update we found out we are having twin girls! We had a super fun gender reveal party at our house. My stepson was so excited when we popped the balloons and pink confetti came out. He really wanted sisters.

We took a quick overnight trip to Tahoe to spend some time with some friends who were vacationing there. It was such a fun time but the altitude was really hard for me.

We took our hospital tour which was really interesting! It made me feel a lot more comfortable just knowing where things are, and the information they handed out about being in the hospital for the birth was really great. I also confirmed that no matter what kind of birth I have I will be delivering in an OR instead of a birthing suite. I am a little concerned as to how two babies, myself and my husband will all fit into the tiny postnatal suites for recovery. I seriously wouldn’t even be comfortable sitting on the tiny bench they expect the dads to sleep on!

The following weekend I headed to Colorado for my family baby shower. I had some motion sickness on the plane when some minor turbulence came up which never would have bothered me in the past and it was a little bit hard to sit for two hours but overall the flights went pretty quickly. I made sure I was well hydrated for both the flights and my stay in Colorado so I did not have the issues I did in Tahoe. It was also cooler weather and I wasn’t outside in the sun as much which I think helped. It was great to see my mom and her side of the family and the shower was a lot of fun. My mom made the cutest twin fruit basket ever.

Finally last weekend I did quite a bit of work on the nursery. Things are slowly coming together and I am trying not to overdo it during the free time I have. I was super happy that some friends came and helped put together the closet furniture so I was able to get things a little more organized.

Work has been really busy which has made the weeks just fly by! When I look at my calendar for the rest of the month it’s a little overwhelming. The nice thing is that we have half days on Fridays from the first Friday of August until after Labor Day weekend.   This week my stepson and husband (he’s the coach) started soccer practice and next week my stepson goes back to school (third grade!). We have a trip booked to Orange County over Labor Day weekend that I am hoping I will be able to take! I have an OB appointment the day before we are supposed to leave so I am hoping as long as things are still going well I can be cleared to go. It’s only a 1 hour flight and I will be 28 weeks.

 

 

How Far along: 24 Weeks on Saturday. The babies currently weigh 1 lb 10 oz and 1 lb 9 oz and are right on track!

Total Weight Gain: Up 10 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight.

Maternity Clothes: Yes tops and dresses. Regular Maxi Skirts, athletic shorts, and leggings still fit. Also a few of my regular workout clothes that are on the longer side fit. I basically wear the same 6 things to work because I am so over spending money on new clothes that I can’t wear for very long!

Movement: YES! Mostly on my right side and some around my belly button, which makes sense given how the babies are positioned (per our growth scan this morning).

Stretch marks: No

Sleep: Some nights are better than others. Up a lot to pee, but I also have to drink a ton of water through the night or I get leg cramps. I got the pregnancy wedge which has really helped support my belly. I usually wake up 3-6 times per night to readjust and pee!

Best moments:  Seeing the babies today! My family baby shower! Feeling them move, especially right before bedtime!

Miss Anything: Nothing major.  Sleeping comfortably!

Food Cravings: Iced Tea. Nothing else regularly.

Anything make you feel queasy or sick: Just some motion sickness issues. Otherwise I have been feeling pretty good (knock on wood!)

Showing: Yes!

Gender: Girls!

Labor signs: No. I did have some braxton hicks a few weeks ago when we were in Tahoe. The altitude was super hard for me and I was out in the sun for quite a while on a hot day. After laying down with my feet up and drinking tons of water I felt much better but they were not fun!

Symptoms: Lower back pain. It’s really hard for me to sit up straight for a long period of time, especially after eating lunch. My desk chair is pretty much in full recline! If I am on my feet too long my ankles swell and ache. I have also been more tired lately. Nothing horrible!

Belly Button: Flat in the morning, out in the afternoon after I’ve had lunch!

Wedding Rings: After a day of major swelling in my hands I switched to a silicone ring that I used to wear to the gym!

Mood: Happy.

Until next time XOXO!

20 Weeks Updates

The past few weeks I finally hit the sweet spot of pregnancy.  I actually feel good most of the time.  I have energy!  My constipation issues are gone (for now at least).  I am actually able to enjoy food again.  Its been magical.

We had an anatomy scan on Monday and both babies are doing well.  They were measuring about 5 days ahead.  We will have another growth scan at the beginning of August with perinatal.  I am also loving that so far my OB does a quick US at every appointment.  Its so great to see the babies so often.  This time my stepson was able to come with us to the appointment so he got to see the babies too.  I think that was a really important experience for him.

Right now I see my OB every 4 weeks and I get growth scans every 4 weeks.  I thought this would feel like forever in between appointments since I had such frequent appointments earlier in my pregnancy, but the time between goes really fast.

We spent the 4th of July week on a staycation.  My dad and brother came to visit and my stepson was with us the whole 10 days as his mom was in Hawaii.  My brother and husband took him to do some fun things like bowling and a water park.  We also took him to the movies and my husband took him to Six Flags.  We wanted to do some fun things for him since we aren’t doing a big family vacation this year.  My brother was also able to help my husband get a few things done around the house including building the nursery dresser.  We had some painters come in and paint the room and we got new carpet in our front room!  It was a really productive week!

Later this month we have our hospital tour scheduled and I will be going to Colorado for my family shower.  I know its early but I did not want to take a 3 hour flight any later in my pregnancy.

 

How Far along: 20 Weeks (on Saturday)

Total Weight Gain: Only Down 1 pound from pre-pregnancy weight!

Maternity Clothes: Yes tops and a few dresses.  Still able to wear my normal shorts, leggings, and maxi skirts.

Movement: I found out at my anatomy scan that at least one of the placentas (Baby B on top) is anterior, which explains why I haven’t felt a lot.  I do feel some flutters here and there, especially lower on my stomach.  Baby B’s head is also on my upper right side (per the ultrasound) and I often get a lot of pressure there.

Stretch marks: No

Sleep: Getting harder to be comfortable and waking up a lot more.

Best moments:  Seeing the babies at my OB appointment last week and then again at my Perinatal appointment this week.  Getting our nursery painted and some of the furniture assembled.  Spending the week with my dad and brother.

Miss Anything: Nothing major.  Sleeping comfortably!

Food Cravings: Asian food, iced tea, tacos and cheese nachos

Anything make you feel queasy or sick: Still not loving meat, but its getting better.  Chicken is the hardest.  I have to eat frequently or I start to feel queasy.  I was cleaning our entertainment center last weekend and randomly had to throw up.

Showing: Yes!

Gender: Finding out on Saturday

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: Still occasional nausea, feeling very full after eating which makes sitting upright at my desk difficult, Gas (but no constipation so yay!)

Belly Button: Definitely flattening out.

Wedding Rings: On

Mood: Happy. Occasionally moody.

Looking forward to: Our gender reveal this weekend.  My first shower at the end of the month with my family.

 

Looking Back and Baby Registry

Today I was reminded of 2014. My uncle posted a photo of us on vacation in San Diego. I look terrible. Actually I look pregnant, even though I wasn’t. I look more pregnant in the photo that I do now, at almost 15 weeks. At the time the photo was taken I had already had 3 failed back to back IUIs that year and my grandpa had just passed away a few days prior. I was so bloated and heavy. While we had a great time that week in SoCal, it was exactly a week later that my dad went in to ICU and nearly died. I spent the rest of that summer flying back and forth trying to balance my job and being there for my dad. Finally when things turned around for him and he was back home I went on to have another failed IUI. At the end of 2014 I was in the worst health of my life physically and mentally.

Seeing that picture made me feel so grateful for where I am right now. It also makes me really grateful that I decided to take a year off from the physical and emotional tolls of infertility. I feel proud of all of the changes I made for my health. There was a time during IVF that I thought none of that mattered, that it had all been for nothing. Even if IVF hadn’t worked for us I can tell you just looking at that photo and knowing how I felt then, it was one of the most important things I have never done for myself. I know that weight isn’t everything, but today, 14 ½ weeks pregnant with twins, I weight about 15 lbs less than I did in that photo from 2014. Every product I put on my body is different now. Every product we use around our house is different.  The food we buy is different.

Making changes for your health is important and it makes a difference. Maybe not a difference that you see overnight but that photo was a serious reminder of where I was, and it wasn’t pretty.

 

On to the fun stuff………..

Thank goodness for good friends. Especially friends cut from the same mold that know the value of a good spreadsheet.

Because my friend A moved to the Bay Area last year we had preplanned a date for her to come up and help me navigate BuyBuyBaby to do a registry. My first shower is less than two months away and honestly I wanted to get a handle on what we needed so I could start gradually buying things over the next few months. When there are so many things that we need two of……expensive things……we know that we will be buying a lot ourselves. Spreading that cost over a few months, especially months I am not on maternity leave, is key.

So Sunday morning we met at BuyBuyBaby armed with a spreadsheet of items, brands, and prices, and we started scanning products.

We started in the bottle/feeding section. Let me just say, without A there I would have started crying hysterically at that point just from being so overwhelmed at the choices and we probably would have had to leave. A is a hero. Even with her well researched guidance, and great advice it was still really overwhelming.

The whole process took about three hours. We had to trade in our scanner 3 times because it kept freezing, and the stroller/car seat section was understaffed so we had to wait quite a while for help (the rocker/crib section however was crawling with employees that wouldn’t leave us alone!).  Doing a registry is not a fast process.

When we finished I felt like I had a good list. There were a few things I wanted to research further and a few things I may change when we find out the genders, but all-in-all it was a successful day.

I also registered at Target, which I am still working on, but a word of advice if you plan to register there…..the website is terrible for adding items. There are a ton of things (such as baby carriers and pacifiers) that the website doesn’t let you add to the registry. There is only an “add to cart” button. Finding things online is also a nightmare. If you plan to register there get the Target Registry App on your phone. It is WAY easier and you can actually scan products in the store from your phone onto your registry. You can also search products on the APP and add them that way without the annoying “cart” glitch.

Some baby sections at Target are better than others. The one near my work is terrible and they barely carry any baby stuff. The one near my house is much better. If you plan to register in store I would recommend finding a Target with a good baby section. Target also has a lot of “seasonal” items that are discontinued quickly. I am not just talking about things like swim diapers or snow suits either. I tried registering for a very basic swaddle and the app told me it was being discontinued. Just watch out for that.

I would highly recommend bringing a friend with you to register or at least taking the time to do a lot of research beforehand, otherwise you will be overwhelmed and run out of the store in pregnant hormonal tears.

Checking In

Hello! So sorry for my unexpected break from blogging the last few weeks. Truthfully I have been slammed at work and way too exhausted to do anything when I’m not working. Thankfully that seems to be getting a little better. At least I made it to 9pm without a nap yesterday which is something.

Since my last ultrasound at 8 weeks 2 days I have met with the nurse practitioner at my OBs office and done a bunch of lab work. The nurse gave me tons of information, which I have been slowly reading as I have the energy. This Friday I will see my actual doctor and get another ultrasound. I will be `10 weeks 6 days at that appointment. I plan to tell my work the following week when my boss is in town assuming the appointment goes well and the babies are still doing great.

In the meantime I am doing lots of research on baby products and twin baby products. I am going to register in June, which seems really early, except I need to have everything totally ready to go by the end of September (30 weeks).

My mom is throwing me a family shower in Colorado in July and my friends are throwing me a local shower in September. We are in the process of getting the guest room converted into a nursery, and the current playroom converted into a guest room. My part is this is basically organizing or purging all of the random things stored in the nursery and telling my husband where to move furniture. We are also recarpeting the main living room of our house which desperately needs to be done before we have babies crawling on it. A new dishwasher will be a must purchase item before the babies come as well.

I have bought a few things for the nursery but it still feels a little strange to do so. This weekend we are going to purchase a second crib after my appointment as well to match the one we have (because it is on sale right now).

My mom has been really awesome and already sent me baby clothes. She pretty much asks me weekly when we find out the genders. It’s great to see how excited she has been.

Outside of all things baby we are headed to Kansas for Memorial Day weekend! We are going to celebrate my grandma’s 90th birthday and it’s my 15 year high school reunion (OMG I’m getting old). 2015 was the first year in my entire life I did not go back to Kansas. I am sure some of my family members weren’t thrilled about that, but my dad came to visit us last year, and I spent most of the previous summer there when my dad was sick. It is so hard to balance everything when I have so little vacation time and I really do feel guilty about it. I am really looking forward to this trip so I hope it all goes smoothly.

I hope everyone is doing well and I will try to update after my appointment on Friday! XOXO

Graduation

I have officially graduated from the fertility clinic and on to the OB! I had my last appointment at the clinic yesterday afternoon. We got an ultrasound and both babies are doing excellent measuring 2 days ahead at 8w4d. Both had heartbeats in the 170s. They looked like adorable little gummy bears! We even got a DVD of the ultrasound with audio for the heartbeats! I have been going to the clinic for so many years now (since 2013) that it seems crazy that I have finally graduated. My nurse gave me several big hugs. I will really miss her.

My first appointment with my OBs office is this Friday. I will see the nurse practitioner this appointment and in two weeks I will see the doctor. I’m curious about frequency of appointments with the twins after that. My appointment with the doctor is just before 11 weeks, so I will likely tell my boss in the week following the appointment. My maternity leave start date will likely be somewhat of a wild card so I want to give him as much notice as possible. The good news is that it will be right as we are winding down for the year.

My biggest pregnancy symptom continues to be exhaustion. I could sleep all the time. Friday night I slept 12 hours straight, ran errands for 2 hours, and then needed a 3 hour nap! I do have some morning sickness but I will not complain because it’s been manageable. My appetite is nonexistent. Occasionally I have random and very specific cravings, usually for something really unhealthy, but mostly nothing sounds good. The key to keeping nausea away seems to be eating so it’s been a struggle to find foods that don’t make me want to gag. Cooking is also totally out of the question, especially meat. Thankfully my husband has done a great job of making dinner and when I’m not too exhausted I try to help with the dishes. I have also been having some very crazy dreams!

I hope everyone out there is doing well! Happy NIAW!

Worth It

Basically the minute after our close friends and family found out I had my transfer I started getting daily text messages asking me how I was feeling. It was really nice to feel loved and that people were there for me and wanted to check in on me.

And then I got a positive beta. More text messages asking me how I was feeling. For the most part I felt really normal, but when I would respond and say “I feel good!” I could almost feel the disappointment from whoever was asking. So I started to respond saying “Good, but I am a little more tired than normal” or “Good but I am having a little reflux”. And then they would get really excited and say things like “well that will only get worse”, or “get used to it I was always so exhausted”. Basically everyone was really excited to share their own pregnancy symptoms with me. It got to the point that I started to freak out a little because I did feel so good for the most part, that maybe something was wrong.

While some people get symptoms earlier a lot of women (especially the fertile who aren’t over evaluating every single little feeling) don’t notice anything until six weeks.

After beta #3 I started getting more specific messages like “so has morning sickness hit yet?” or “are you throwing up yet?” Everyone seems super excited for me to be sick. Maybe so they can tell me how sick they were? I don’t know. I don’t really get it.

So on Tuesday night my dog woke me up at 3 am to pee (a bad habit she has), and I actually did feel sick. I had actually slept from 10 to 3 which is the longest I had gone without getting up to pee in the past few weeks, and my stomach was obviously completely empty. I didn’t actually throw up, but I could have easily. I finally ate some applesauce and was able to go back to sleep after like an hour and a half. When I woke up a few hours later I was still a little queasy but I ate something and it passed.

The next day my mom text me asking if I was feeling sick yet later in the day. I told her I thought I had felt some morning sickness around 3 am and her response was, “well it’s worth it.”

Do you really need to tell me it’s worth it? I wasn’t complaining. I didn’t even bring it up. She asked. I will throw up every single day and night for the next 8 months if it means that I get to bring home a healthy baby. And quite frankly if I do get super sick I have every right to be miserable and even complain, but that absolutely does not mean that I don’t think it’s worth it. I am fully aware that I asked for this…..I paid tens of thousands of dollars trying to have this…….and I literally pray to thank God for it every single day.

So it might just be the pregnancy hormones which have made me a little more moody and sensitive than usual, but I was pretty pissed that she would have the nerve to say that to me. If almost felt like a lecture. At that point I pretty much cut off the conversation.

I am sure that this is just the beginning of months, or years, or unsolicited advice and comments about all things pregnancy and parenting (as if I haven’t already had enough about how to get pregnant over the years), and honestly even that will be worth it if it means I get to bring home a healthy baby.

Stims Day Five

Hello from day 5 of stims (day 7 of microdose Lupron). I thought I would just give a little update on how things are going 5 days in….

Currently I take 4 shots per day, every 12 hours. In the morning I take Lupron, injected into my thigh, and Gonal-F, injected into my stomach. The Gonal-F injection is a breeze. The pre-filled pens are super easy-peasy to use and the injection doesn’t hurt. The only thing I really notice is that now that I’ve been doing it for a few days, along with Menopur that also goes in my stomach, the needle hurts a little more going in. I think that’s because my tummy is beginning to feel like a pin cushion.

The Lupron hurts like hell. The needle is fine, but the actual medicine being injected is awful. Thankfully after about 5 or 10 minutes it goes away.

At night I take the Lupron again, in the opposite leg, and also Menopur. Menopur must be mixed which isn’t super complicated, but I seem to have issues getting it to draw into the syringe every time. I have tried both the mixing needle and the Q caps. For what it’s worth I prefer the needle to mix. The injection itself hurts, and it is more difficult to inject than the Gonal-F. The pain does go away in a few minutes thankfully.

As far as side effects go…..mornings are the worst. I feel great when I wake up, and then about 10 am I start to feel really groggy. This started the first day I took the Gonal-F. It’s hard for me to focus and I often get a headache as well. I have also had some odd pain in my jaw around this time and right before I go to bed. A few times I have experienced some dizziness, which has only happened when I was being active (going on a walk or doing housework). I am pretty sure this is from the Lupron because the first time it happened I hadn’t started stims yet. I feel bloated and unfortunately this has led to some gas as well. I have also had a few hot flashes.

I spent my weekend away at the Oregon Coast where I was able to relax a lot and take naps. Being at work today has been difficult but doable. I am a little nervous about how I will be able to handle things as the week goes on, but I am just taking things one day at a time.

Tomorrow is my first lab to check my estrogen and Thursday I go in for an ultrasound to monitor progress. Prayers are appreciated!