So I didn’t mean to go MIA….actually I always hated when I had followed an infertility story for so long and then it went silent when the babies were finally born (I understood but it was just nice to see closure to a long story of such a struggle). So here is my story….or as much of it as I can type before someone wakes up and cries….
Also I do post photos on my Instagram account which at this point is a much better way to follow what is happening with us! Meant_to_be_mommy
On Wednesday, November 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving, Taegan (pronounced TAY-GAN) Quinn and Kruse Morganne made their arrival at exactly 12:22 pm via planned C-Section at 38 weeks 4 days. They were both born in the same minute and things went perfectly. They were both breech so a C-section was my only option, however I had decided around 30 weeks that is what I wanted anyway. It turned out to be a wonderful experience for the most part and was extremely calm and not stressful which is what I wanted. Taegan was 5 lbs 13 oz and 19.5 inches long and Kruse weighed 6 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. Both babies were healthy and did not require any NICU time.
We stayed in the hospital until Saturday afternoon. The morning after the C-section I did suffer one complication when my blood count suddenly dropped and I had a sudden severe headache followed by vomiting and passing out. Thankfully the nurse was there when all of this happened and I received a blood transfusion later in the day. It was all uphill from there. The only other thing I really remember being difficult about the recovery was the extreme itching from the pain medication that is in the spinal they gave me for the C-section. Thankfully that subsided in 24 hours. I have never tolerated pain medication or anesthesia very well, and of course right after they gave me the spinal I threw up. I warned the doctor that this would happen beforehand, and they were able to give me something via IV to make it go away fairly quickly. I only took the pain pills they offered for the first 36 hours. After that I took only the 800mg of Motrin and I was able to handle the pain, which was only really bad when I got up out of bed, but still manageable for me.
Being in the hospital is good because you can have the nurses help you with whatever you need, especially when you are recovering and can’t get out of bed easily (or at all without help). The downside is that they come in constantly. We would finally get both babies sleeping or I would finally fall asleep and a nurse or doctor would come in and have to wake everyone up. This was true 24 hours a day. They wanted to do the most random things with the babies in the middle of the night. It was crazy. Finally the last night we were there the nurse came in at 11 and told us she wasn’t going to come back until 4 am unless we called for her. It was the best news ever.
My mom came a few days before they were born and stayed for 3 weeks. It was the biggest blessing ever. She helped me get so many last minute things done around the house that I wouldn’t have been able to do so pregnant, and she was the best help with the girls when I got home. When I was in the hospital she came during the day so my husband could go rest, and took care of my dog.
The first two weeks are a blur. Our life was lived in 2 hour increments between feedings. I started out exclusively breast feeding. I would nurse for an hour and then have an hour off. It was exhausting. Kruse also was extremely fussy those first days and we thought she might be reacting to something in my milk from what I was eating. I cut out dairy and I already don’t drink caffeine. At the first pediatrician appointment neither of the girls had gained any weight back (T was 5 lbs 3 oz and K was 5 lbs 13 oz when we left the hospital). The pediatrician was very concerned especially about T so we came back for another weight check 2 days later. They had both gained about an ounce on the 2 hour feeding schedule. I continued this for a few more days until one night they were both acting starving and I ended up nursing them for 4 hours (alternating between the two of them). My mom suggested the next morning that I try and pump, which we discovered that my supply was not enough to satisfy both girls, so we started supplementing with formula. The first time I gave a formula bottle I sobbed. I am completely believe FED IS BEST, but after infertility it was just so sad that my body was once again failing me. The good news is that after we started supplementing the girls were so much happier. Kruse didn’t cry all the time anymore and they got back up to birth weight at our 2 week check up! I was trying to pump as much as possible, which is so hard with twins even with my mom there to help, and exactly two weeks after they were born I came down with mastitis. I woke up at 3 am with a 103 fever and horrible chills. At the time I thought maybe I had the flu, but the next morning my left breast was red and barely producing anything. I was able to get antibiotics that day but it was devastating supply and I have been trying to build it back ever since.
My mom had to leave a few days later, and so started the adventure of trying to take care of both girls by myself while my husband was at work. Somedays were really hard and others were actually good. Thankfully with the holidays my husband has been able to be off work, and my dad, brother, and his girlfriend came for the past week which was so helpful! The girls are on a very strict schedule now which has made night time much easier. Kruse unfortunately still has tummy issues, especially as my supply has continued to diminish and she gets more formula. I am still wondering if she has a lactose sensitivity. The good news is both girls are gaining weight and doing great. They will be six weeks old on Wednesday which is so hard to believe.
On days when the weather isn’t totally crappy I make sure we get out of the house. We go on walks, or to lunch or dinner. I think its important to make these things feel normal. For the most part all of our outings have gone well. Having them on a schedule has really helped because we can set ourselves up for success. Also they both love to be in the Lillebaby carrier or the Solly baby wrap. Both of these things have been life savers for me. If one of them is fighting a nap I put them in the wrap and she will be out in 10 seconds. They also tend to fall asleep immediately in the carrier.
All in all we wash a lot of bottles and do a lot of laundry but having these girls is the best thing ever. I don’t even remember life before them. Waiting so long for them was hard, some days even excruciating, but they are worth it. I never thought, starting to try to get pregnant in my 20s, that I would be 34 before I finally had a baby, well two babies, but I just feel amazingly blessed to have them at all. Thinking back to this time last year, when I was just getting ready to start birth control for IVF, I cannot even fathom all that happened since. I still remember going through IVF, and how scary it was, and how I didn’t know if we would even have anything to transfer after such a poor result from the stims, but I know now to never lose hope even when it seems there is nothing to hold on too.
Thank you to everyone who has followed my story over the past few years. I have made some amazing friends along the way, and been able to see so many women who have battled infertility win the fight and bring home beautiful babies via pregnancy, surrogacy, adoption, embryo adoption, ect. If you are still in the throes don’t give up. Your day is coming.